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Do you ever feel personally responsible when someone in your life is experiencing difficult emotions?

Do you ever watch your mood tank in the presence of someone else’s anxiety or negativity? Or maybe struggle to draw the line between caring about someone and feeling you have to “save,” “rescue,” or “fix” them?  Do you feel like you lose touch with your own voice when somebody else expresses a strong opinion or need? 

Leaning on each other is natural, and being responsive to each other’s feelings is important and healthy… but sometimes our responsiveness and caring can tip toward care-taking, people-pleasing, and ultimately codependency.

Codependency—perceiving other people’s experiences as our responsibility and letting them determine our mood, outlook, purpose, identity or worth—is a very common habit.

But that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy one.

While our codependency often comes from a place of seeking connection and trying to demonstrate care, unfortunately it rarely brings us genuine wellbeing and almost never truly supports or empowers those around us.

In fact, counter to what we might feel, it often does a lot more harm than good!

Here are some of the unfortunate side effects of codependency:

• Being heavily influenced by others’ moods, judgments, and beliefs, and feeling ungrounded and disconnected from yourself as a result

• Feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and choices, and spending a lot of time and energy obsessing over how to help them manage or navigate their issues

• Hypervigilance, social anxiety, and compulsive attempts at mind reading others and predicting their responses to you

• Over-reliance on external validation leading to a fragile sense of self-worth

• Perfectionism and control; curating your self-image and personality around exclusively positive traits

• Insincerity in relationships—pretending and people-pleasing to keep things copacetic

• Mood swings and misdirected rage as a result of self-silencing and self-sacrificing behaviors

• Chronically compromising, ignoring, or denying your needs, then feeling resentment or blame when others don’t intuitively meet them

• Harsh self-criticism and self-loathing when others don’t approve of or appreciate you

• Trouble differentiating between someone else’s experience and your own, especially when emotional intensity is involved

• Relying exclusively on others for your inner balance, happiness, and self-esteem

• Taking on the “rescuer” or “fixer” role in relationships; often feeling you give more than you receive in your connections

• Difficulty self-soothing or emotionally self-regulating when others are in discomfort or seem upset with you

• Having surface-level relationships that struggle to withstand disagreement or conflict, and lack authenticity and true emotional intimacy
  

If you resonated with this list, chances are that you and codependency have a long history together—maybe even as long as you can remember.

Maybe you have some deeply ingrained codependent tendencies that are sapping your energy and driving you crazy, but that you somehow just can’t seem to overcome.

And I bet you’re really tired of it.

Here’s the good news:

Codependency is not an illness or a personality flaw, it’s a set of unconscious coping skills we can compassionately unlearn and outgrow.

Having codependent patterns is frustrating, there’s no doubt. But it’s not your fault. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. And it’s certainly not a life sentence!

Overcoming codependency is absolutely possible.

It’s is a vulnerable and brave journey—and it’s guaranteed to change your life forever, for the better.

If you feel called to take this journey, I’ve designed an experience just for you…

The Overcoming Codependency Program is a powerful journey that will offer you the concepts, skills, and emotional support you need to:

• Learn how to source balance, stability, and emotional safety from within yourself

• Compassionately transform codependent habits into conscious, interdependent choices that help you stay true to who you are

• Experience more ease in relationships—less fear of judgment or disconnection, and more emotional stability and comfort in your skin

• Cultivate a vital sense of self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love, regardless of how others feel or respond to you

• Learn to meet emotional intensity and interpersonal challenge with grace, humanity, and realness—without losing your center, disconnecting, or giving up on yourself

• Develop a healthy acknowledgment of your moment-to-moment needs, and practice expressing them in a clear and open way

• Practice distinguishing your own feelings from others’ feelings, and holding both with care and dignity

• Identify the qualities of genuinely healthy, interdependent, reciprocal relationships, and empower yourself to seek out and create them in your life

What GRADUATES are saying…

This program is designed for deep transformation in a supportive and inclusive virtual community.

The Overcoming Codependency Program consists of 14 sessions total across two and a half months: 9 learning sessions, 1 office hours session, and 4 group coaching calls. Session descriptions are below.

Sessions take place live on Zoom—participants get lifetime access to replays of all sessions.

Learning Sessions (2 hours) are an educational space where participants receive concepts, principles, and tools via live teaching, digital handouts, and real-time demos.

Office Hours (2 hours) is a space to ask questions and seek clarity about anything you’re struggling to understand or apply from the program.

Group Coaching Calls (90 minutes) are an experiential space for participants to bring their real life codependency challenges, process and integrate their new knowledge with Erin’s intuitive coaching, and witness and learn from one another’s personal healing experiences. Erin offers hands-on support to help participants move through tough issues, find meaningful insight, and transform old patterns.

Attendance Policy
Attendance at every session is not mandatory, but joining sessions real-time is the best way to experience and co-create the transformational power of the program. Participants are kindly requested to commit to joining at least 50% of the sessions as a prerequisite to signing up for the program.

Video Participation Requirement
Willingness to be on-camera during the group discussion and coaching segments of our program is required. Seeing each other’s faces is a huge ingredient in helping us build the emotional rapport to dive deep together!

Here is the program curriculum:

Session 1: Codependency Explained
What is codependency and where does it come from? What are the signs of codependency? What are the consequences of it?

Session 2: Facing Your Codependency Fears
What are the first steps toward overcoming codependency? What’s the map of how codependency shows up in your life right now? What fears keep you stuck in codependency? How can you learn to be a safe place for your fears? What do you need to grieve/process to be able to move forward and heal?

Session 3: Blueprints For True Connection
What does interdependence actually look like in relationships? How do you find and follow a blueprint for reciprocal connections? How do you assess the health of a relationship on your own terms, and practice ongoing discernment with what’s viable for you?

Session 4: Pattern-Shifting In Relationships
How do you lean into the vulnerable process of transforming a relationship from codependent to interdependent? What does the journey of transformation look like, and what’s okay or not okay to put up with along the way? What codependent vows did you form out of self-preservation growing up? What interdependent vows feel more aligned with your path moving forward?

Session 5: Bringing Realness
What does it look like in practice to bring more realness to your relationships? What are the risks involved, and how can you mitigate them? What tools will support you to create new and positive experiences in your communication, and grow deeper connection as a result?

Session 6: Meeting Intensity In Others
How do you respond to others’ intensity, especially when your codependency is triggered? How can you show care for what others are experiencing, without falling into caretaking? How do you take ownership and provide acknowledgment when you’ve had a negative impact you didn’t intend? How do you give a clean apology?

Session 7: Heartfelt Accountability
How do you ask for acknowledgment and accountability when someone else has negatively impacted you? How do you receive an apology and begin to offer forgiveness (even if the apology isn’t perfect)? How do you navigate interpersonal complexity around power and privilege?

Session 8: Embracing The Real You
What’s likely to happen internally as you shift out of codependency and into interdependence? What are the telltale signs you’ve fallen off course, and how can you re-orient back in the direction of healing? How do you bounce back when your old codependency and people-pleasing habits get kicked up?

Session 9: Sustaining Interdependence
What are the best tips and tricks for staying in alignment with interdependence as time goes on? What bumps in the road should you expect as you continue this work, and how can you proactively support yourself around them? How can you maintain ongoing self-acceptance and find resilience to stay the path as you shift old patterns and alter the status quo within your connections? 

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